hi hello…some nsfzoom images in here. But in the words of RuPaul who is referencing the iconic film Paris Is Burning:
“Why y’all gagging so? She bring it to you every season.”
Have you ever had a day, a week, a year where you just don’t have the energy for anything? Like, your battery is constantly at 15% and you still have to make it a few hours by placing yourself in and out of airplane mode. I’m reading “My Year of Rest and Relaxation” by Ottessa Moshfegh — a story of a woman who is attempting to sleep for a year through trial, error, a cocktail of meds and downers. I read it and I’m like, “Dang, this chick is depressed.” And then I’m like, “I want to sleep for a year…dang, am I depressed? Anddddd I say chick?” And the answer to that is . . . . yes. Certifiably a depressed person. Where do I pick up my badge and welcome cookies? Oh, there isn’t any. Well, fuck.
But I’ve known this about myself for awhile, and not necessarily the issue I care too much about (though, I want to sleep for a year and get a 15 minute briefing when I wake up). I worry about my ability to believe that I’m not good enough for anything. For example: I use paper towels as plates. I have never made a furniture purchase over $100. Every time I take a shower, I will find a way to justify using a small towel to dry off to not waste the actual bath towel. WHO DOES THIS? Me, I do. A person who works super hard to raise her feelings of self-worth. Are we all like this? I don’t think so because a lot of y’all are walking around asking for whipped cream in your Starbuck drinks that was not part of your original order (I live in FiDi and everyone around me is this person).
My partner, situationship, mother of my dog child, past-life lover, person says this phrase to me every time I curl up in a corner because I don’t think I deserve to take up space: “Laurita, you deserve the plate.” I’m trying to live by that, take the extra moment, give myself what I need, drink the fucking water, and go to bed at 9pm because it’s the best bedtime on the planet. Why is it so hard to simply do right by ourselves? Got an answer? Send them my way.
xoxo,
sad gurl fall nyc chapter president, laura
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Best Of Vegetable & Fruit Dildos To Prepare For The Holiday Season
The Curved Cucumber Silicone Dildo; $89.99
Self Delve Eggplant Silicone Dildo; $89
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Self Delve Big Corn On The Cob Silicone Dildo; $119
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Fruit Series Sex Toys; $92.90
8.5 Carrot; $90
Please Step On Me
Olivia Campbell
Lovisa Lager
Katana Fatale
Boar Lord
Lizzo
A Night At The Sex Museum
Hi, I’m a sex writer person who ignored everything about the topic for the last year. Yes, I wrote a book about it. Yes, it’s 90% of my interests. But I’m tired, disinterested, depressed, burnt out. So when The Museum of Sex invited me to their latest exhibition, I almost didn’t go. But thankfully, I removed my sweatpants and put on a dress to check out not only their event but a full, wild world of sexertainment in Flatiron.
“Reclaiming and Making: Art, Desire, Violence” presents the artwork of 14 international female-identifying artists who have faced and challenged sexually motivated violence from the 1970s to the present day. Such artwork ask us to bear witness both to the reality and history of sexual trauma, and to the resiliency, agency, and power that survivors of such trauma manifest. This groundbreaking exhibition aims to break the silence around these issues in the hopes of developing a safer, healthier, and more liberated sexual culture.
Exhibition Date: November 4, 2021 - February 8, 2022
Featured Artists: here
Ticket: here
More images from the night:
Some Things I’ve Done For Myself That Have Made Me Not Want To Sleep Forever
I have been going to AquaCycle in the AM for the last few days. It’s cycling under water and without crunching your joints into themselves because fucking gravity. Want to come with? Email me. Need a free month on ClassPass? Click here. Do I get anything for hawking ClassPass? Some free classes here and there. Mainly, I like the fact others can take advantage of it. So use it!
I cried into my pillow over everything that was bothering me about life, and then I promptly looked over at my partner to say “This has nothing to do with you. I just need to be mad about life.”
Deleting my work email from my phone on the weekends. We need to all get in the habit of not over working so we don’t crash and burn into our own sadness and a need to seek value from our 9-5 productivity (hello, therapy). It was tough, but I did it.
I have switched from Airpods to corded headphones. DONT @ ME ABOUT THIS. I have chronic headaches and terrible hearing, I need to not have sound suctioned into my ear canal.
I’ve been doing acupuncture sessions on my foot once a week for the last 5 weeks, and WOW WOW, no more pain! I played soccer, basketball, track, rugby, roller derby from 10-26 , and then power lifted (my poor knees), and then HIIT up until the top of the pandemic. And my foot has always had some flat-foot pain. Instead of being a stubborn bitch about everything, I actually got some help. Look at me trying my best. Now if only I could drink water.
I actually started to get excited about the potentials of a new apartment. Less fear, more “can I make this a pink pastel dreamscape?”
I bought myself a beret with the cheery hope it will look good. Will report back.
I keep being like “Am I still this girl” (refer to the NSFW images below). Like, yah. I am. She has just been asleep for a bit.
I will leave you with Choriza May singing “My Pussy Is Like a Peach” + Music Video
There is nothing I love more than colorful drag queens that sing about pussy. But also, take care of yourself, do what you want, redirect and find some clarity. I definitely needed to do a bit of that. Hope we all find ourselves.
Hey Laura is an off-track newsletter dedicated to body image, sad stuff, teeth, joy, poems, sexual wellness, life, butts, confidence, essays, fatness, crying until you're a puddle of DNA, embarrassment, and so much weirdo stuff. note: laura doesn’t take responsibility for your life and actions. she’s just an odd person on the internet that deeply wants to write everything in her heart. some links:
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Thank you so much for this; everything you said above is exactly what I’m feeling ❤️