hello my jiggly calientes (i only care about drag race references),
another week, a second impeachment, tears, fights, insecurities, and lies. but before we get into it, i’d like to direct your attention to a few places:
anti-racism resources
expand firearm background checks
black lives matter donation
black trans femmes in the arts
congresswoman pramila jayapal on surviving the siege via the cut
we’ve seen the ugly truth about america via roxane gay / nyt
(what we saw last week, last year, the last 5ish years was/has/always will be white supremacy. so many people lied to and believe that this was all okay. it fucking wasn’t)
speaking of lying:
oh dear god do we love a lie. more like, we love a scandal. we love to see the train wreck and watch for reactions. we are reactionary — there is literally billions (lie) tiktoks that are just reaction videos in the hopes to keep us all 100%. but actually, we lie more than we tell the truth — at least it feels like it. if you ask me “how are you” and I say “fine,” chances are i’m seconds away from screaming into a pillow. now am i a gone girl type of liar that will create a series of well-placed facts that lead up to a major truth that in itself is a lie. no. but am i the kind of liar that will keep something from someone because i’m afraid of hurting them? yes. absolutely. no lie here. and why? for what reason? so everything can be jolly and happy and great? (yes, probably).
what i have learned is that lying is a symptom of something greater, darker within yourself that we might not be okay with admitting internally. and that’s okay. people make mistakes. we apologize. we try not to do it again. we do it again. we apologies. we try harder. and with everything going on in the world (a lot to do with lying), maybe we just have to break ourselves open and lay bare for awhile.
i’m going to try it.
i’m sweating.
to honesty,
laura
some lies:
thin privilege isn’t real
the capitol riot was peaceful
masturbation is unhealthy
having an 18 in your clothing line makes it inclusive
laser hair removal is only 6 sessions until you’re done
anal is supposed to be painful
fat girls are unattractive
anonymous sex isn’t hot
i love my body everyday
whining about being full is cute
parents are always right
glossier is a quality makeup brand
our phones don’t listen to us
vibration can burn your clit
aquaria is better than sharon
chanel lipstick is worth the price
condoms aren’t sexy
the cronut is worth standing in line for
i know what timothée chalamet sounds like
men should save their money
found today
Rep. Cori Bush calls to impeach the white supremacist-in-chief video
bread basket . . . a carb subscription service, babes.
worst revolution ever via the atlantic
trevor noah’s new home is . . . wow.
this ergonomic chair has some serious sex toy vibes.
to all the lies i’ve told before:
there are lies that are like “i’ve never liked you my entire life but i need to smile right now because we’re related.” and then there are more personal (than blood) lies. the ones that you do to protect the people that you love . . . or maybe protect yourself from the people that you love. and while you’re thinking “i will keep this all from them and they’ll never have to know what kind of a scumbag i am,” it always comes out. i’ve told both sets of these lies: ones trying to keep the peace and others trying to keep the peace for your own self-preservation. i’m not good at the second one — i’m too tmi, too guilty, and i own a set of eyes that pour out the truth even when i’m trying to hold it in. i lied to save myself from being alone: what they don’t know, can’t hurt them kind of vibe but throw in a pinch of “i’m afraid of you leaving like everyone else.” and for that i am a coward of my own making. finding every which way to be perceived as pristine when my actuality is a corner store claire’s ear piertisserie in the mall — flashy with little market value.
you don’t lie to save the other person, you lie to save yourself from yourself . . . to not look at the reality smack in the face of your love. but they always know. always. and for that, we have to live with who we were before the lie but with less power to our words. and that is the worst spot for a liar because we can’t talk our way out of it anymore. we just have to bare ourselves and hope we can live with ourselves when we’re uncovered. to lie is to be human, and to be human is to unintentionally hurt others.
if i’m being reaalllllllllll honest:
i’m in the market for a man who will clean my apartment and then leave. mask required. message to apply.
a year ago, i was working out 6 days a week and now i don’t and it makes me feel odd in a way i can’t really describe . . . guilty, maybe?
fearing abandonment is so real and so hard
this le wand vibrator is the best one on the market (in my opinion).
veneno is the best show
steve buscemi could get it, have it, keep it.
fat bodies feel like one big butt and if you’re into interested in them then you have no idea what heaven feels like.
honesty is really really hard. it requires us to be bare, open, vulnerable, possibly seen as combative or emotional. it’s embarrassing. but it is worth it.
men don’t deserve their money so they should give it to hot women so they can buy pasta and jewels.
i lied. some men deserve their money. but even so, (best sexy baby voice) dontcha just want to give it to all the women so we can buy a mini fridge and more for our at home desks?
Hey Laura is a weekly newsletter dedicated to body image, sad stuff, joy, sexual wellness, life, butts, confidence, essays, fatness, crying until you're a puddle of DNA, embarrassment, and so much weirdo stuff. note: laura doesn’t take responsibility for your life and actions. she’s just an odd person on the internet that deeply wants to write everything in her heart and genitalia and flesh. some links:
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