Dear Reader,
I’ve held tightly to a few beliefs in the course of my life:
If you are kind, people will be kind back.
If you work hard, you will be rewarded.
If you work to change, people will be positively receptive to your effort.
If you set it up perfectly, it will be executed perfectly.
I’m not sure I believe these anymore. In fact, I’m leaning more toward the gray nowadays — does anything we do truly matter in the grand scheme of the universe? Or are we simply rocks watching the world go by à la Everything Everywhere All at Once?
I don’t mean to be nihilistic. Rather, I’m trying to ebb and flow as it were, take the easier path, redirect my anger instead of letting it direct me. Perfection is trash, and in fact, the deep, rising, red tide of shame and embarrassment that drowns me is starting to look like sugar-free, bog water, cranberry juice. Not the Ocean’s Spray kind. The kind you get from the specialty grocery aisle when the impending UTI is stabbing a urine knife into your guts. It’s gross but won’t kill me. So neither will making a mistake or taking a day to respond to an email. Not attending a launch party will not cost me my coolness (if there ever was any). Stating my expectations and disappointments at work will not tank my stability. Because, in all realness, everything is unstable. We’re just using trauma-filled fake phrases like “imposter syndrome” to give us something to work on instead of going, “Try your best for yourself because all of this is fake.”
In one of the latest student loan episodes of The Daily, the host and guest noted that people have become accustomed to not paying student loans making it harder to get them to pay again. Yeah, because we realized that y’all will be fine without it. My gf always says how she hates fake things, like fake rocks in parks or people with fake power. I never understood it. But I get it now. The fakeness serves as a barrier to the reality that things are much more simple.
If you are kind, great. Not everyone will be. And sometimes, you can’t be kind. But try because it feels good to be kind . . . even if that’s selfish.
If you work hard, amazing. This will often not be recognized so reframe it for your gratification. It will not get you into heaven but it might make you sleep better.
If you work to change, that’s on you. People hold their feelings close and might not update how they feel about you. You can’t blame them — you do that too.
If you set it up perfectly, it’s out of your hands at that point.
The gray of it all is uncomfortable, but maybe necessary? I’m going to try to ride it out and see what happens. If anything, I’d like to stop clenching my jaw so tight and using hot tools on my hair.
xoxo,
Laura
Dumb & Hot
I love dumb and hot.
It reminds me of the 90s. Ed Hardy, Pam’s hair, Girls Gone Wild.
Beautiful bimbo culture where big, perky tits defied gravity to hold up spaghetti strap dresses.
I love dumb and hot.
It’s a hot pink Barbie car, rhinestone cell phones, sexy without fear.
Gorgeous and messy and perfect and unbridled.
I love dumb and hot.
Because it’s clever. It’s ownership of what they all want you to be but it’s just you who profits from it . . . and that’s what makes everyone mad. It’s the opposite of stupid or unaware.
I love dumb and hot.
Because you don’t have to explain your choices to anyone. Not your eye shadow. Not your swooping, peachy blush. You aren’t for everyone, and that’s fine.
I love dumb and hot.
Because with a certain amount of confidence and glitter, anyone can be dumb and hot.
I love dumb and hot.
Dumb as in I pay no mind to negative opinions of me. And hot as in I make decisions for my body. Let me learn from the d&hs of the world. We only have one life. Why not show our midriffs and play a DJ set on a boat? To be dumb and hot is to let delusion thrive and set your body free.
Click On Me
NYC Italian Restaurants To Order From/Dine At: Here
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The Loveland Foundation — Mental health resources and therapy fund for Black women and girls.
Liberty Humane Society — Providing animals in need with a chance at a lifelong, loving home.
Trans Lifeline — Hotline that connects direct emotional and financial support to trans people in crisis
Plan C Pills — Resources and access to safe, free, at-home abortion pills.
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Buckle Bunnies Fund — Funding abortions across Texas.
Minnesota Freedom Fund — Funds criminal bail and immigration bonds, and ends discriminatory, coercive, and oppressive jailing.
Women For Afghan Women — A civil society organization dedicated to protecting the rights of disenfranchised Afghan women and girls in Afghanistan.
Order: “My Pleasure: An Intimate Guide to Loving Your Body and Having Great Sex”
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What I Know About Being Italian
Honestly. Not much. Pasta is a big thing, I’m guessing.
If you’re stressed, take a deep breath. Whatever you’re worried about won’t matter in a month from now.
Don’t watch TV at night . . . it will make it harder for your grandparents to visit you in your dreams.
Be comfortable. Life is too short to be pinched.
The nude form is magical. It’s why it’s in all our art.
All That Glimmers / Le Wand Petite Rechargeable Massager
Is it over-the-top and glittery? Yes.
Is it body-safe? Yes.
Is it hot pink? Absolutely.
I love a wand vibrator. They’re rumbly, have a flexible neck, and have a wide head for deep vibration. So perfect. I have a particular affinity for this line from Le Wand. While smaller than the original line, this smaller wand packs a punch with 10 Intensity Levels and 6 Vibration Modes. Plus, this is an excellent travel vibrator with the ability to power down the vibe by pressing + holding the center button. There is nothing that screams dumb and hot more than this vibe 💓
Price: $157.50
Final Thoughts
Why does it feel like we’re all rushing to die? I can’t remember some of my best moments because I wasn’t present enough to mentally capture it all. Breathe, everyone.